Stephen Hawking: Chinese Women Are Hot

Hawking.

At a seminar in Beijing last week, famous physicist Stephen Hawking, who holds the post of Cambridge University's Lucasian Professor of Mathematics once held by the great Sir Isaac Newton, told the audience of 500: "I like Chinese culture, Chinese food and above all Chinese women. They are beautiful." He also said some stuff about global warming potentially destroying the earth.

On hearing the news, the Fundamentalist Scientists of the IDEA club immediately sprung into action, assembling and distributing a list of 'over 500 physicists who prefer white women'. Within hours, the list came under fire in the physics blogosphere, as several physics bloggers or 'blogons', as they are sometimes known, pointed out that many people on the list were not Physicists, but merely people who had taken Physics in High School.

Chinese Woman.

The IDEA club immediately fired back in a press release, noting that not only did all these people get 'A's in the classes, but further that in several instances, the classes were AP classes, meaning the students could have gotten college credit for the classes from participating Universities and Colleges.

Asked for comment, Sir Mix-a-Lot, who holds the 'Sir' title once held by Isaac Newton, said: "I like big butts, and I won't lie."

Environment of Non-Compliance - The Kelvin Sampson Story

Sampson.

Gannascoli.

IU fans will want to see this upcoming made-for-TV movie about the new IU basketball coach's experiences at Oklahoma. The title role will be played by Joseph Gannascoli, better known as gangster and Johnny-cake aficionado Vito Spatafore on HBO's The Sopranos.

I'm Santa Claus, Dammit! (GRUBB UPDATE)

An earlier entry here at words of advice for young people introduced our reader(s) to Monroe County character David Grubb and some of his outsider art.

Recently the man himself has been in the news, as with a story in the June 8, 2006 edition of Bloomington's 'Herald-Times'. I can't link to it, because you have to be a subscriber, so I will just share some excerpts in a manner I hope is consistent with 'fair use'.

One of the most universal and fundamental pieces of advice old folks pass on to the kids is: 'don't take candy from strangers'. It seems some Bloomington kids were trying to follow that advice, but the stranger, none other than GRUBB, took offense. From the article:

"David Grubb, who got 212 votes in the 1998 GOP primary and who is a fixture of public comment periods at local government meetings, is charged with felony battery of a 5-year-old boy by hitting him on Sept. 23, 2005, after he and another boy refused to take candy from Grubb."

also...

"The afternoon's testimony was anticlimactic, with a 7-year-old boy, two 14-year-old girls from across the street and two mothers who got involved testifying about the incident. The 5-year-old victim, now 6, was deemed too young to testify.

The 7-year-old boy said Grubb offered the two boys candy. When they refused, he said it was OK because he was Santa Claus, but they still refused. According to testimony, Grubb then took a swing at the 7-year-old. The boy ducked, and Grubb then hit the 5-year-old in the forehead, causing a bruise over his left eye.

The two girls across the street plus adult witness Michelle Ricardez said they saw Grubb swing at the boys. Ricardez, the girls and the 7-year-old boy all said they never heard anyone tease Grubb before or during the incident.

Baggerly said that Grubb never hit the boys but that they had been taunting him, and that the witnesses got together later to "close ranks" in their accounts. "

For his part, Grubb evoked Roger Miller and borrowed a favorite tactic of his idol 'Pres Bush' in his comments:

"The nation is at war and everything is in chaos," he told Harris outside the jury's presence. "I'm not sitting in front of a bunch of women. They're going to hang me, dang me ... I can be innocent and they will find me guilty."

Eh, at least he didn't blame gay marriage for his plight.

The trial continued today and is probably over now. We will follow this story as it develops.

UPDATE:

Actually it is over. Here's the headline:

Man convicted of battery
David Grubb could face a new felony intimidation charge for a remark he made to prosecutor Thursday at his trial for striking a 5-year-old boy who wouldn't take candy from him in September 2005

The article elaborates:

David Grubb hadn't even been convicted Thursday of felony battery of a 5-year-old child when his own remarks started police on paperwork for a second felony charge.

Grubb, in jail after being convicted of the battery, may face an intimidation charge for saying in court of prosecutor Lynda Robison, "I'd like to cut her throat."

and...

Grubb rambled at length about his life, jobs, feuds with public officials and problems with the law over the decades. Grubb is 67.

"I get run out of this county a lot because I see wrong, and I raise hell," he said. "I'm a little scattered, radical because I've had to fight for my life all my life."

One after another, he made allegations against people in the community, alive and dead, by name. He blamed many of his life's woes on "Democrats, idiots and queers."

Scratch what I said earlier. He did play the gay card.

Finally:

"I love kids. I don't hit kids," he said. Except for one case, he began recounting, to Baggerly's dismay.

It was in 1962, and two boys were throwing hay out of his barn loft. Their dad was drunk at home, so he cut a maple branch, called them out and switched them. He said it got him hauled into court for battery, and "it cost me money," so he didn't hit kids after that.

As for whether he struck the 5-year-old boy on the forehead on Sept. 23, 2005, after the boy and a 6-year-old had refused to accept candy from him, even when he told them he was Santa Claus, he denied hitting the boy.

"I'm Santa Claus, damn it!" he said.

"Take me out behind a building and shoot me," Baggerly moaned during the jury break that followed.

Neither he nor his client will be shot, but sentencing will happen June 15, according to the article.