Balloon boy's dad enjoys dangerous toys
when he heard the voice of caution, always said 'fuck that noise'
He rose his children to love all the dangers
Mom and Dad sat them down, said 'take candy from strangers'
Then one morning in the sky he saw his toy pie
Thought his son was up there, and was sure to die
He called 911 but first called the paparazzi
He regretted not being his kid's safety Nazi
The balloon soon came down but the boy wasn't in it
Twitter fools twitted on, they were in it to win it
It turned out the boy was just in the garage
CNN said 'fuck this', got the hell out of dodge.
Now the dad wears a shirt saying 'Worst Father Ever'
And the fools on Twitter aren't feeling too clever.
Yeah boyyee, etc, all that, gnome sayin'.